Prioritizing Your Mental Health After Baby
If there is one thing that I’ve learned in my motherhood journey, it’s that I am not alone.
As simple as that sounds, we often forget. We feel incredible pressure as mothers to do it all and be it all, ever so naturally! But let me tell you this: It’s okay to ask for help - From your partner, your family, your friends, your neighbor… Even from a therapist, if need be!
Personally, I’ve found that verbalizing my problems and concerns helps me process. By sharing, I realize that others also struggle in their own ways, and that we can heal through connectedness. When we find support, not only do we break the stigma, but we develop self-acceptance and a sense of belonging.
Back to my reality: I can truly say that I wasn’t feeling myself during pregnancy or the initial stages of motherhood, but I finally started to recognize myself when Teix was 8-10 months old. It was at that moment that I accepted that I couldn’t do it all. Essentially, I learned that I needed to take care of myself in order to take care of my family.
Of course, I had been exercising, eating healthy, yada-yada-yada!... But our mental health is more than that. Our mental health is setting boundaries, being honest with oneself, having alone time, trusting your partner to parent (with all the responsibilities that entails), practicing hobbies that remind you of who you are… And trying to find the balance in it all! It’s okay if one day, all you want to do is soak in the cuddles, and the next, you just want to be left alone.
I remember the day my husband came home and suggested that we improve our routine because what we had wasn’t working. We made a very easy schedule with lots of flexibility, involving baby duties, house duties, alone-time and couple-time. It’s worked for us really well thus far!
In addition, routine check-in questions have been helpful for my mental health. Questions, such as:
How am I feeling physically? What do I notice in my body?
Am I being kind and compassionate with myself?
Do I need a break from screens? Social media scrolling?
Have I made an effort to connect?
Have I shared how I’m feeling with someone who feels safe?
How is my sleep? Eating habits? Movement?
Have I acknowledged my efforts today?
Is something heavy weighing on me? Can I write it out?
One thing is for sure: I’m feeling way better now than I did this time last year. I know I still have a big path to walk, but it’s reassuring to know that I’ve come this far. We’re all work in progress!
From my heart to yours.