Busting Motherhood Myths
As a society, we have this view of what a mother is: She is organized, prepared, emotionally-stable, soft-spoken and so whole-heartedly dedicated towards her family that she never stops to take a break. However, the fact is: All moms are human first and foremost.
We’re all unique, and we all have different life goals that may or may not involve our children. The one commonality we should share is an unconditional love for our kids (however stinky they may be!).
I myself am often disorganized and forgetful, yet I continue to have this misconstrued view that other moms have it all together. So let's go over some of these motherhood myths and how they can relate to getting outdoors:
Mothers have it all together.
As I mentioned, I have never been the organized type. I don’t know why I would expect this to magically change once I had a kid.
They say a mom’s brain changes to accommodate all she has to remember for the wellbeing of her baby: food, diapers, clothing, wake windows, appointments… The list goes on. But dang! I’m almost always forgetting something. Yet I still say “yes!” to adventures, because chances are that your adventure buddies will have extras of what you need or will be willing to help.
This fall, Oaklyn and I hiked up C-Level Cirque in Banff National Park with a couple of my friends. Although Oaklyn had everything he needed, I hiked in my Birkenstock sandals having forgotten my hiking boots at home. Classic! My friends were very gracious: One offered to drive and grab proper footwear for me (which I was fine without), and the other offered to carry Oaklyn part way up (which I didn't refuse).
My point is: Embrace your quirks and don’t get so down on yourself. You can always count on a helping hand!
Mothers are superheroes.
Well, this one isn’t really a myth... Moms ARE superheroes! But we don’t have to be alone on this journey. Sure, society praises the mom who can do it all. However, I’m willing to bet she has the help of a village, or at least wishes she did.
Find yourself a solid friend group and lean on them when you need support. Take advantage of those who want to help, because they truly do want to help. Let your kid eat other people’s snacks, take that diaper someone offered, borrow that extra layer you forgot. When you’re feeling too overwhelmed and not “super” at all, give yourself grace and take a breather.
Mothers sacrifice all their fun.
This one is different for everyone, but can be very much of a reality for some… Including myself.
I took Oaklyn for a walk whenever I was fed up with being inside - Which was quite often!. At first, I would just step out the door and plan to stay close by in case I needed to run in for some reason. Luckily, Oaklyn found the stroller quite soothing and would often fall asleep in it. Eventually, we’d get further and further away from home; Then, onto bigger adventures in the mountains. But it all started with me simply putting on my shoes and walking out the door.
And guess what? You don’t always have to bring your baby along either! Last winter, a couple of friends and I made a habit of snowboarding together once a week. Moments like these are when you lean on your partner, family, friends and/or babysitters so that you can get out and have some solo-fun, whatever that may look like.
Mothers lose their sense of identity.
Nahhh. Just a big, fat NAHHH.
Your days are busier. 100%. They fly by! But you can still do all of the things you love by prioritizing your time. Your energy and strength will come back (thanks pelvic floor physiotherapy!), and you can re-adopt and re-engage in your hobbies.
For instance, I’ve always liked to go to the gym, do yoga, drink beers, bike, snowboard and more. Now that Oaklyn is in the picture, my husband and I will do these activities with our son or we will simply tag in/out on parental duties.
My parents just moved to a town located 1.5 hours away… So much closer than Yellowknife! I cannot tell you how excited this makes me to have the extra help when we need it. What a luxury!
I think it’s fair to conclude that a mother is an absolute badass who is juggling so much in her current role that she can often be forgetful, disorganized, overwhelmed and imperfect. Relying on others for support, help and “alone time” makes her no less of a loving, dedicated parent.
