Working Past the Anxiety of “What Ifs” on the Trail
Another mama invites you to go out for a hike with the babies - Or even more anxiety-inducing: a childless friend asks you to! A million thoughts start racing through your mind.
What if my baby cries the entire time?
What if it's too cold?
What if I'm not fit enough to hike and carry my baby?
What if I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH!
STOP.
These are very valid points, but also non conducive thoughts. Ok! – does it feel better to now read that you're not the only mama with these thoughts?!
I am a big believer in overcoming your fears by facing them head on. Now, I am not talking about peak-bagging that epic summit in mama-and-bambino style. I am talking about exposure.
Sara and I started off by doing trial runs at home in the carrier, ensuring that she was sitting properly and comfortably. Then, we moved on to walks around town, which eventually became longer and longer. These grew on us and we both really learned to love the carrier. She was close to me, and that was what we both wanted!
Now, fast-forward to hiking. It was a big step from doing walks around town to gaining some vertical in the backcountry. The best way to ease your nerves is to have an escape plan. And the best one on the trails is to: TURN AROUND!
If you've had enough, or if your baby has had enough, just head back. Guess what? You got out of the house and you both got some fresh air, so therefore it was already a success! Now I won’t ramble on about the importance of making sure you have all the necessities (i.e. water, layers, soother, food, etc.), but as long as everyone is hydrated, fed and warm, it should be a good trip.
After exposure, come expectations. Expect that your baby will cry and fuss on the trail. Also remember that their whines are the most difficult for you to hear. In fact, others around you may barely notice the occasional “whaaas!”. Being that childless friend in the past and hiking with an anxious mother, I can promise you that it really isn't a big deal!
After each and every hike, cross-country ski, bike ride or camping trip, you will learn, take notes and become more comfortable. With each experience you will have a take-away on what you would do differently next time.
Another common concern I hear is that your baby might be missing out on their nap while on the trail (which truly translates to having to deal with a fussy, overtired baby).
From spending many hours on the trails with other mamas and babies, I can guarantee that your baby will eventually doze off. It usually happens after 10 minutes of fussing, but hang in there! It might not be the best nap, but at least they are getting some shut-eye and you can then relax. When they wake up, you can feed them (don't forget snacks for yourself, since we know who's doing the real work around here) and enjoy the view!
Lastly, try to be adaptable. This is probably the biggest one of all! Yes, your baby might not nap right on time... But guess what?: Tomorrow they can! We all should learn to be adaptable. The best time to learn that is during infancy! As your baby becomes more adaptable, the “what ifs” will become less.
